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Author Topic: Topical Jokes  (Read 5910 times)

Offline wjp666

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Topical Jokes
« on: October 07, 2011, 01:40:39 pm »
come on, we all get them on our phones every time something newsworthy happens... sometimes mere minutes after the said event. here is a thread dedicated to all those busy minds in the world who use the power of text to circulate their wisdom. i'll start (i received this just a minute ago):

Just saw Kevin Webster in his garage, working on a 14 year old Escort.

not bad. i'd give it a 6/10
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Offline oldspice

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2011, 08:31:19 am »
A few months back, there was a terrible one about Amy Winehouse, Bernard Matthews and cold turkey.
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Offline wjp666

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2011, 02:43:04 pm »
i think i can connect the dots on that one.
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Offline Forth Bridges

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2011, 10:00:17 pm »
YOU ASKED FOR THIS:

* What have Amy Winehouse and Bernard Matthews got in common?   No cold turkey this Christmas.

* Forensic Police in the UK report that Amy Winehouse is not dead. They report that when they drew a line around her body - she rose up and snorted it!

* Unfortunately Amy Winehouse's parents have been told they can't keep her ashes as they would be possession of a Class A drug.

* For all those who are making jokes about Amy Winehouse, please form a line, It's what she would have wanted.

* What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and a moped?     A moped can reach 30!

===========KEVIN=====================

* What's black and hangs out of a school girls knickers?    Kevin Webster's moustache.

* Poor Kevin Webster is innocent. I don't think he had sex with that 6 year old.  she's just after his lottery winnings.

* I think Kevin Webster got the wrong end of the stick when he was asked to do children in need.
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Offline oldspice

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #4 on: October 10, 2011, 06:44:59 am »
Oh dear. I wish I hadn't read those.
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Offline wjp666

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #5 on: October 10, 2011, 03:23:38 pm »
oh dear me. what have i started.
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Offline chocolate chick

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2011, 11:31:28 am »
I dissapprove of these a lot - they are in such bad taste and who sits and thinks them up??
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Offline wjp666

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2011, 09:45:48 pm »
i average on receiving about 20 a day during catastrophes.
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Offline goldencup

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2011, 08:13:35 am »
I think I get about ten a day - I'm always amazed how quickly they start appearing after the event!
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Offline chocolate chick

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2011, 08:56:05 am »
They are like straight after the event - someone has a quick mind
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Offline Forth Bridges

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #10 on: October 15, 2011, 11:58:20 pm »
I never GET any, and thats the truth, mmmm I have to wonder who your friends are like ;)
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Offline wjp666

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #11 on: October 17, 2011, 11:26:09 am »
my friends are all demented.
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Offline smurfboy

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #12 on: October 17, 2011, 01:19:49 pm »
Paul McCartney is already regretting remarrying from what I've heard. Apparently his new wife spends twice as much on shoes as the last one.
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Offline chocolate chick

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #13 on: October 17, 2011, 01:58:19 pm »
That one is quite funny though....
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Offline loulou

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Re: Topical Jokes
« Reply #14 on: October 17, 2011, 07:33:54 pm »
Yeah i like that one smurfy but 623 your jokes are disturbing..
It's not right them naming kevin webster when he hasn't been found guilty yet.
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