Author Topic: Things that annoy me (Read 23582 times)

goldencup · « **Reply #91 on:** March 04, 2005, 09:07:08 pm »

My sister and I have always had a private joke about the 'pop' 'slip' and 'for me' bits of Nurse Speak. When she had to go for a test recently I went with her and the nurse surpassed herself when she came out with all three in one sentence, "Now could you slip on this gown and pop onto the couch for me." She looked a bit bemused when my sister and I nearly collapsed with hysterics!

oldspice · « **Reply #92 on:** March 05, 2005, 09:08:14 am »

The highest number of "nurse speak cliches" must happen when you have smear test. It's jump up here and pop those off and wiggle this and.... oh well I won't go on .....

loulou · « **Reply #93 on:** March 05, 2005, 09:10:41 am »

I had one last week and the nurse was ordering me about but said "my darling" at the end of nearly every order. I nearly punched her.

oldspice · « **Reply #94 on:** March 05, 2005, 12:42:52 pm »

And what about when they force you open with the medical equivillant of a car-jack and say "this might feel a bit uncomfortable" ...

goldencup · « **Reply #95 on:** March 05, 2005, 12:47:26 pm »

I've got mine in a couple of weeks, I'll have to bear all this in mind and keep my sense of humour!

« **Reply #96 on:** March 05, 2005, 01:20:02 pm »

Do you want us men to go into detail about the little "umbrellas" they use to clean the inside of you know who when you get certain kinds of STDs?

goldencup · « **Reply #97 on:** March 05, 2005, 01:39:08 pm »

No thank you, we'll leave that to the imagination! I thought that was an urban myth? What do they say then, "And, up....and down."

The interesting thing about this 'nurse speak' thing is that if all of us find it annoying and patronising, why are they trained to talk that way? Presumably there must be millions of people out there (not chocolate lovers) who find it all very reassuring?

salsa · « **Reply #98 on:** March 05, 2005, 05:02:40 pm »

Nah, the umberella thing is real. I have a friend who works in an sti clinic. The other week she was seeing to someone with the brolly and he just said stop im going to cum, and did :S

ewww

loulou · « **Reply #99 on:** March 06, 2005, 12:04:21 am »

Quote from: paulham

Do you want us men to go into detail about the little "umbrellas" they use to clean the inside of you know who when you get certain kinds of STDs?

How do you know about that then?

salsa · « **Reply #100 on:** March 06, 2005, 08:26:21 am »

everyone knows about that

oldspice · « **Reply #101 on:** March 06, 2005, 10:17:29 am »

I didn't. I've no idea what you're all talking about! But I'd rather have a brolly gently opened into my gap than the great cold metal contraption they usually use.

loulou · « **Reply #102 on:** March 06, 2005, 01:59:34 pm »

Neither did I.

salsa · « **Reply #103 on:** March 06, 2005, 02:18:03 pm »

the brolly is for boys, down their japs eye.

I personally would prefer cold metal to a brolly up my wee hole.

Talking of which there was once a website about a woman who got off on ureutha sex :S

« **Reply #104 on:** March 06, 2005, 07:50:41 pm »

Quote from: loulou

Quote from: paulham

Do you want us men to go into detail about the little "umbrellas" they use to clean the inside of you know who when you get certain kinds of STDs?

How do you know about that then?

We EHOs know lots of things.

They reuse the old umbrellas for ladies cocktails.

Honest, it's true!

News:

Author Topic: Things that annoy me (Read 23582 times)