Author Topic: Bounty reports a gas leak (Read 1387 times)

« **on:** March 22, 2006, 05:58:42 am »

Assistant: Hello Gas emergencies

Bounty: Hi, I'd like to report a gas leak please.

Ass: What town are you in please?

Bty: Nottingham.

Ass: What's the postcode?

Bty: What my postcode?

Ass: No, the postcode of the gas leak?

Bty: Funnily enough I don't have my Whittakers almanac on me.

Ass: Pardon?

Bty: Nothing erm, I guess it's NG7 something, it's just round from where I work and that's NG7.

Ass: What's the road?

Bty: Gregory street

Ass: Gregly street?

Bty: No *slowly* Gregory street.

Ass: OK, and you don't know the postcode.

Bty: No, but I think it's NG7.

Ass: Are there any obvious landmarks outside the property:

Bty: Well, I'm nearly at work now, but there was a sort of hedge.

Ass: A hedge?

Bty: yes, like a conifer hedge. I think it was a Leylandii.

Ass: A Ley?

Bty: It doesn't matter.

Ass: I have to tell you not to light any naked flames or incandescent mat...

Bty: Excuse me I'm nowhere near there now

Ass: ...erial or.

Brrrrrr.... *Bounty Hangs up*

goldencup · « **Reply #1 on:** March 22, 2006, 08:06:33 am »

« **Reply #2 on:** March 22, 2006, 08:31:54 am »

That wasn't made up by the way. That's how it happened.

goldencup · « **Reply #3 on:** March 22, 2006, 08:34:28 am »

Don't worry, I believe you.

Cherry_Ripe · « **Reply #4 on:** March 22, 2006, 08:58:44 am »

I don't think even Whittaker's almanac could have helped you there.

Forth Bridges · « **Reply #5 on:** March 22, 2006, 10:54:21 am »

was there a big band shotly afterwards?

« **Reply #6 on:** March 22, 2006, 10:59:17 am »

Yes, I think U2 were playing that night, it was quite good.

loulou · « **Reply #7 on:** March 22, 2006, 11:09:55 am »

smurfboy · « **Reply #8 on:** March 22, 2006, 03:05:16 pm »

Reminds me of when I tried to get the phone set up here. 'No, there's no such address in the database'. Me: 'It was only built six months ago, this is the postcode...' BT Idiot: 'No, I need to find it in the database. The database isn't recognising the address'. Me: 'But I've just given you the full address and postcode, I've explained why you might not be able to find it'. BT: 'The database says it doesn't exist'. Me: 'I'm sitting in it, it exists!' Long pause...

smurfboy38801.2124652778

minty · « **Reply #9 on:** March 22, 2006, 04:25:18 pm »

.minty38937.7145138889

loulou · « **Reply #10 on:** March 23, 2006, 07:50:05 am »

Ok so now we all know where smurfy lives.

Forth Bridges · « **Reply #11 on:** March 23, 2006, 10:01:05 am »

I keep asking the Water company to cheak my lady nelribours Pipes as ther need a cllean inspection!

aslo othere way ther a conner tha tkep having sweage coming out of it 4 time ( scottish water / public) has come out nothing fixed it!

goldencup · « **Reply #12 on:** March 23, 2006, 12:24:00 pm »

Quote from: loulou

Ok so now we all know where smurfy lives.

Presumably it's a square-shaped building Smurfy?

Forth Bridges · « **Reply #13 on:** March 23, 2006, 02:39:46 pm »

aslo beasue of the Mess of teh water pipi next door somehow a red Roof toile ending up in our pipes blocking our loo!! so our water pipes are old and need replaceing,

Our Gas pipie are getting replace riht now ther digging up the road!

I thourgh smufy livind in a Blue musrhroom shape house in county of essex?

smurfboy · « **Reply #14 on:** March 23, 2006, 04:22:52 pm »

Quote from: goldencup

Quote from: loulou
Ok so now we all know where smurfy lives.

Presumably it's a square-shaped building Smurfy?

It is, bizarrely enough!

News:

Author Topic: Bounty reports a gas leak (Read 1387 times)