Chapter 1 - Got my tits out.
Chapter 2 - Got tits made bigger and got them out some more.
Chapter 3 - Shagged every C-lister going, had blind fat baby by footballer. sl*gged him off in the papers a lot.
Chapter 4 - Told the world I'd shagged stuttering pop 'star' whilst up the duff. sl*gged him off in the papers a lot.
Chapter 5 - Met faded plastic pop star on reality show. Shagged him, got up the duff again, got married in ludicrously tacky ceremony.
Chapter 6 - Hinted in the press that maybe I'd shagged Beckham too in the desperate hope of making more cash from the book.
The End (until I run out of money).