Scientists working on a secret project in Barnsley have stumbled across some dark matter. The matter, some 12 femtometres in dimeter could have large implications for the universe explained Dr Hugo Sweissman of the Institute for Science in Rotheram. 'It's a momentous discovery', explained Dr Sweissman, 'at first we thought it was some dirt on the microscope but our tests confirmed it was dark matter'. 'Dark matter accounts for 90% of the mass of the universe', he continued.
When asked what the secret project was about that he had been working on; he replied, 'I'm afraid I can't comment on that, it's a secret'.
