How young is too young?

[smurfboy]

Sadly a family friend died last week. It's her funeral on Thursday and her three grandchildren, aged six to twelve, will all be there. I think that's exactly how it should be, but my mother thinks it's wrong and that the six year-old in particular is too young.

 

What do you think? How young is too young for a funeral?

At six or less, they may not understand what's going on.  In a sense seven and above is too old and might freak them out!

[oldspice]

My daughter was six when her grandmother died and I was determined she should be allowed to go to the funeral. We explained everything as clearly as we could, telling her that nanny had died, we would not be seeing her anymore but that she was now free from pain.

 

When my own mother died I was ten I did not attend the funeral service or the burial. A year later, when dad died, I was once again kept away and although the decision was taken with my interests in mind, I felt very cut off and very lonely.

 

 

[Scarlet Passion]

In my opinion no age is too young. If they don't understand then it's not going to affect them, and if they do understand then they're old enough to need to say goodbye.

Sometimes children are protected from the real world so much that it prevents them from taking part in the full experience of family life. Shutting them out of something so important is not the answer. Prepare them as much as their ages allow and be there for them through the whole experience, answering any questions and comforting them through any tears.

Allow them to be a fully functioning member of the family, and help them grow into responsible adults, by taking care of them but not overprotecting them.

Death happens in the world and you cannot lie forever. They will lose people and things that matter to them, and it will hurt, but if they know from an early age that it can be dealt with and you do come out the other side eventually. You laugh again, and you can remember without pain after a time. Then they may not find it all quite so frightening a prospect.

 

Could be a load of bull, but it's what I think.