I agree to an extent, but the problem is that if smacking is legal, where do we draw the line? What one parent considers firm discipline could be considered abuse by someone else, or the child. If a child is being genuinely hurt and tells their teacher (for example), what is to stop the parents saying 'it was only a smack because they were being naughty'? The lines become too blurred.
Yes I agree with that, and there should be a point at which all hitting stops, but I think even if you do hit your kids some part of you knows it is wrong and/or too much, too far. And obviously cases where the child complains of abuse like that should be investigated by people qualified to assess such things. But realistically, not simply from a standpoint of "Well any form of physical contact even for disciplinary purposes is abuse," because that simply is not so.
The phrase 'never did me any harm' seems to be coming up a lot - but perhaps what we should be asking is, does it do any good?
My mum would say yes, and I would agree with her.
I think I appreciated knowing that if I was naughty I would be punished. It gave me clear boundaries and a certain knowledge of consequences.
Both of which seem to be lacking in kids today. They know that whatever they do they not only will not be punished, in most cases they CANNOT be punished! What on earth does that teach them about fairness and honesty, or respect and self discipline?
How are they supposed to know what is and isn't acceptable behaviour if no-one ever punishes their behaviour however bad or criminal it gets?
My mum ended up with a child with good manners (holding doors open, and still saying please and thankyou even now!) I do not drink to excess, I do not smoke, have never touched drugs at all and apart from my one small brush with petty thieving as a youngster have never broken any laws. I study and revise when necessary, and I'm doing quite well in college and I am no where near as boring as I sound honest!
I think my mum is proud of me, and I would have no problems bringing up any kids of mine in exactly the same way, as it did work, for me.
Perhaps you would say I am one of the lucky ones and perhaps you are right, but I do know this. I do not resent or hate my mum for smacking me, I do not wish she hadn't and it did not make me violent towards other people. I don't fight ( but would defend myself if necessary) and I don't carry a weapon of any kind.
None of my teachers are afraid of me and they have no need to be.