Once upon a time, in a land far away, possibly in what is now Albania, a queen gave birth to a beautiful young baby girl, who had raven-black hair. Her parents, who thought it would be rather witty and ironic, named her Snow White. As she grew older, the princess turned into an even more beautiful teenage girl.
Some way a way in a forest, there lived another queen, who had a mirror. This mirror was special in that not only could it talk, it could also give up to date share prices and the time in 12 different time zones. The queen was also hot and was rather proud of her beauty, such that she constatntly sought reassurance from the mirror that none were fairer than her. For years the mirror was able to confirm that she was indeed the fairest of them all, until one day the princess Snow White, turned 18 and set out in her school uniform, for 'twas the law.
'Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?' Said the queen.
'While your own radiance cannot be disputed, Snow White is the fairest of them all and looks rather spiffing in her uniform.'
On hearing this, the queen flew into a rage and vowed to kill Snow White, whoever she was.
News of this apparent hegemony and the title of the nation's most beautiful woman reached the princess days later and she was warned that the evil queen would go to any length to win back the title. Her advisor went on...
'This queen is very cunning, and is likely to employ all sorts of tricks, like dressing as an old woman and selling poisoned apples and the like. Your only hope is to flee to the dockland area and hide among the wharves.'
'Wharves? surely it's wharfs!' Pointed out the princess, since she had gained an A in English Language.'
'Ah, I was never sure upon that point', admitted the advisor. 'Anyway the large quays.'
So following this advice the princess went to dockland and hid among the wharves or wharfs. There were seven in all, which meant that she was able to hide in a different one each day. A few days later the evil queen came to the princess's palace dressed as an old woman selling poisoned combs, but of course Snow White was nowhere to be seen. While she was formulating her next evil plan, news came that the government had dropped the interest on Isas to 1% and so the queen fled to Switzerland and has never been seen, from that day to this.
Snow White was able to come out of hiding and once more took her rightful place as prettiest girl in the land and opened a little art gallery.
