Some little time ago in a leafy part of Edgbaston, in the West Midlands, there lived an 18 year old girl named Jacqui. She lived alone with her mother since her father worked on an oil rig and only came home twice a year. Then one day, Jacqui's mother received a letter to say that her husband had eloped with an engineer called Virginia and they were going to set up together in Estonia. Jacqui's mother explained the situation to her daughter.
'I'm afraid without your father's regular cheques we will have to tighten our belts. You had better nip to Waitrose and get some lentils so I can make some broth and see if they have any fresh coriander while you're there.'
So, Jacqui donned her school uniform and set off for the local Waitrose. On the way she passed an old man at the side of the road who was selling some beans.
'Hello young lady, can I interest you in these fine beans?'
'Are they haricot?' Asked Jacqui.
'Erm, no they're magic beans.'
'Magic in what way?'
'I don't know! They're magic beans.'
'How much are you asking?' Asked Jacqui.
'A tenner.'
'OK. Done.'
So Jacqui handed over the money, which her mother had given her for the lentils and coriander and went home feeling rather pleased with herself. However, when she explained the situation to her mother, she was far from pleased.
'You stupid girl! These aren't magic beans, they're broad beans and taste like ear wax! We can't eat these.' In a fit of pique her mother tossed the broad beans out of the window and sent Jacqui to her friend's house for a sleep over.
The next morning, Jacqui returned home and was surprised to see a huge Eucalyptus tree on the back lawn.
'Gosh this is amazing, the Broad beans have germinated and grown into a Eucalyptus!'
'Mum, mum, come quick the Broad beans have germinated and...'
'Yes I know', said her Mum, I've phoned National Geographic and they're sending somebody round, apparently they're not even in the same genus.'
So, it came to pass that Jacqui got on the front of National Geographic and was interviewed by Cosmopolitan and FHM for discovering the first known case of heterospermaegenesis in the dicotyledons.
