There was an ad in the local paper inviting people to have some guys come and wash your pet. It said no job too messy, cats, rats, Great Danes, Bird cages cleaned etc. I decided to do a little wind up.
Ring, ring, ring, ring.
DWAP: 'Hello Dial-wash-a-pet, Judy speaking.'
Bounty: Hello yes, I wondered if you could come and wash my pet.'
DWAP: 'OK sir, what sort of animal is it?'
Bounty: 'A Nile crocodile.'
DWAP: A Ni.. what?'
Bounty: A Nile crocodile, it's an adult male.'
DWAP: 'O-K-A-Y, (clicking sound in background and muffled conversation with colleague) can you you give me it's aproximate weight and dimensions sir, we don't have that one in the database.'
Bounty: 'Yes, it's 14 feet long and weighs one and a half tons.'
DWAP: 'Ooh, is it in an enclosure or something?'
'Bounty: No, it just wanders around the garden and waddles in the pond.'
DWAP: 'Mmmm, not sure about this one sir, I'll need to speak to my supervisor.'
(I'm put on hold, Star Wars music playing in background.)
'OK, thanks for waiting sir, I've asked my supervisor and she says that owing to health and safety we wont be able to clean your pet.'
Bounty: 'Aah OK, well thanks anyway, guess I'll just have to use the bucket and sponge again.'
DWAP: OK sir thank you for calling Dial Wash a pet, have a nice day.'
