Men and Barbecues

[goldencup]

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events is set in motion:

 

1. The woman buys the food.


2. The woman cleans the salad, prepares the dips and makes puddings.


3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.  The woman pours herself a large glass of white wine.  Here comes the important part:


4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL!  Commander of the coals, he brandishes the tongs in a manly fashion.  Everything about his posture says, “This cooking lark’s a doddle.”


5. The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.


6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.  He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he Deals With The Situation.  Another very important part:


7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.


8. Inside, the woman cannot find a clean glass and starts drinking wine from the bottle.  She scrapes the burnt bits off the lamb steaks and, from the oven, produces some M & S kebabs which she has bought, just in case.  The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, cutlery, napkins and sauces and brings them to the table.


9. After eating, the woman clears the table and loads the dishwasher.  And most important of all:


10. Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.


11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “Her night off.”  Woman grips barbecue skewer tightly.  Says nothing.

[smurfboy]

 Who do I visualise my dad as I read that? He made one lasagne on Boxing Day about ten years ago and he still expects praise for it!

[loulou]

Men will deliberately break things when washing up so we will never ask them again.

[minty]

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