I was once in a similar situation - though I saved the day.:p

We were in Scotland when I was ten or eleven, and I noticed the car heading towards the loch. "Dad!" I shouted. But no answer - he'd fallen asleep!
So I got the steering wheel, and put my foot on the accelerator so we wouldn't end up having a car behind crashing or something, and drove at the correct speed (think it was 30, but it was years ago so not 100% sure) for that road, looking for a safe place to pull over.

Suddenly my Dad woke up and said "What the bloody hell are you doing?"
"Saving your live, that's what!"
Anyway, realising what had happened, he started driving again and pulled over for a rest.

.....did anyone laugh?

Laugh at what? Star Trek or my taking the P out of it?

At my sisters the other day, there was either a Star Trek film on the TV. None of us being Star Trek fans, it was turned over. But before that, there some robot or human in pieces, and they were going to put it back together. My sister thought it would be rediculous if it came back to life so said "Everything works in Star Trek".
"...Apart from the script" I replied.

*escapes quietly*

I once got ALL the numbers on the lottery, but wasn't old enough at the time to do it, and my parents changed their mind about putting them on and thought they would stick with their original numbers.

I once read in a womens weekly magazine (not that I read them of course...) that dark chocolate has all the goodness taken out of it as the taste makes it too bitter, therefore effectively making it even less good for you than milk chocolate. At least milk chocolate has calcium (milk) in it!

Chocolate is, apparently, very dangerous to dogs. I am amazed this clevel doggie got the wrappers off the cupcakes. they're tricky to peel off even for humans.

My brother had a dog that would steal chcolate. So one eatser, he hid the Easter eggs in a cupboard, tied rope on the door, which was tied to the banister in a way that you couldn't open the door unless you cut the rope. He then put a load of things in front of the door so there was no way the dog could get in. He then went out the house, happy in the knowledge his dog couldn't poison itself and he would still have his Easter eggs this year!

However, the string was broken by the dog, and the items moved by the dog out of the way. All his Easter eggs were eaten, the only thing remaining was the boxes and wrappers.

My brother had two dogs at the time, one much bigger than the Easter egg munching one. The big one would often open the kitchen door, then the small one would open the fridge with her paw. Then the bigone wouuld get items off the sehelve the little one couldn't reach. then the entire contents of the fridge would be shared between the two dogs, leaving only the crap stuff. If it was nice, they ate it. If it wasn't, they left it for us! Yet they got fed plenty. A lock on the fridge still didn't stop them, and eventually they broke the entire fridge door off its hinges!

Stop monkeying around, all this monkey business is not good...and other such lame monkey puns...

I don't know anyone that drives. And I can't because I've been getting dizzy spells for ten years!
But I'll pretend I do care, so that you have an opinion of someone who does:


"This is ridiculous. Nobody told me when I got my driving licence it was only valid for ten years.
And if I let it lapse, I'll have a hell of a lot of points just for a simple mistake.
Whilst drunk drivers are free to continue with minimal points.

Plus I'd get a massive fine - and for what? Nothing! First the toll charge, then the petrol prices. When is this government going
to stop penalising us motorists?
Not to mention, we pay a fortune in road tax, most of which doesn't go on the roads -
they are in a shambolic condition!

Now innocent folk will lose their cars, and possibly their licence.
What right does the government or DVLA have to do this?
It's legalised theft! I am absolutely outraged! It's time us motorists banded together to
stop this silly nonsence once and for all!"

There, you go, an opinion from a motorists' point of view. Well not really, as like I said, I'm not a motorist.