Chocolate Forum

Chat => General => Topic started by: bounty hunter on September 19, 2008, 08:27:05 pm

Title: Dial-wash-a-pet
Post by: bounty hunter on September 19, 2008, 08:27:05 pm
There was an ad in the local paper inviting people to have some guys come and wash your pet.  It said no job too messy, cats, rats, Great Danes, Bird cages cleaned etc.  I decided to do a little wind up.

Ring, ring, ring, ring.

DWAP: 'Hello Dial-wash-a-pet, Judy speaking.'
Bounty: Hello yes, I wondered if you could come and wash my pet.'
DWAP: 'OK sir, what sort of animal is it?'
Bounty: 'A Nile crocodile.'
DWAP: A Ni.. what?'
Bounty: A Nile crocodile, it's an adult male.'
DWAP: 'O-K-A-Y, (clicking sound in background and muffled conversation with colleague) can you you give me it's aproximate weight and dimensions sir, we don't have that one in the database.'
Bounty: 'Yes, it's 14 feet long and weighs one and a half tons.'
DWAP: 'Ooh, is it in an enclosure or something?'
'Bounty: No, it just wanders around the garden and waddles in the pond.'
DWAP: 'Mmmm, not sure about this one sir, I'll need to speak to my supervisor.'
(I'm put on hold, Star Wars music playing in background.)
'OK, thanks for waiting sir, I've asked my supervisor and she says that owing to health and safety we wont be able to clean your pet.'
Bounty: 'Aah OK, well thanks anyway, guess I'll just have to use the bucket and sponge again.'
DWAP: OK sir thank you for calling Dial Wash a pet, have a nice day.'

Title: Re: Dial-wash-a-pet
Post by: oldspice on September 20, 2008, 09:53:07 am
LOL - I bet you were not the first joker to do that! I wonder how many elephants they have been asked to wash.
Title: Re: Dial-wash-a-pet
Post by: paulham on September 20, 2008, 06:29:34 pm
I simply can't find the houses for the elephants these days.
Title: Re: Dial-wash-a-pet
Post by: loulou on September 21, 2008, 09:33:00 am
Because all these new builds don't have the high ceilings?
Title: Re: Dial-wash-a-pet
Post by: paulham on September 21, 2008, 12:31:44 pm
No. The neighbours generally don't like 300 kilos of elephant shit in the next door garden.
Title: Re: Dial-wash-a-pet
Post by: loulou on September 21, 2008, 04:48:08 pm
Probably very good for the roses. I wouldn't object.
Title: Re: Dial-wash-a-pet
Post by: paulham on September 21, 2008, 05:38:33 pm
Yes you would.
Title: Re: Dial-wash-a-pet
Post by: loulou on September 21, 2008, 09:08:15 pm
WOULDN'T. BRING THEM ELEFLUMPS ROUND TOMORROW. I LIVE AT..........
THE HOUSE ON THE HILL , NEXT TO THE ROUNDABOUT, BY THE SHOPS.
Title: Re: Dial-wash-a-pet
Post by: bounty hunter on September 22, 2008, 06:43:26 am
I like ephelumps