Post by: oldspice on May 05, 2006, 04:07:11 pm
A colleague, on enquiring why a student had not been attending extra English classes, received this message yesterday:
Dere Miss
I aint needing no xtra clasis in english cos you hve dun a gode job wiv me and lerne me much morr then i lerne st school so thnx luv alix
She was thrilled he took the trouble to reply.
Post by: chocolate chick on May 05, 2006, 04:12:55 pm
Can I ask how old this student is? Are they English?
Post by: smurfboy on May 05, 2006, 04:13:10 pm
Now that's what makes teaching seem worthwhile...
I think this has the makings of a new thread. I remember my A-Level English teacher telling me about a student who'd decided a poem was about two gay lovers, one of whom was dying of AIDS - despite the poem being 16th Century. And a lecturer at the place beginning with U I dare not mention (can anyone smell lemons? 
) was once presented with an 'essay' on the subject of racism in Huckleberry Finn reading 'racism is not relevant in Huckleberry Finn as it was abolished in 1856'.
Post by: Cherry_Ripe on May 05, 2006, 04:29:51 pm
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Pattie looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Pattie explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Pattie explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says,
"There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant.
"I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Pattie Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Post by: oldspice on May 05, 2006, 06:52:46 pm
I believe the student in question is 17 and as English as fish and chips.
Students do write the most astonishing claptrap. A most famous example (published in the papers a few years ago) read:
"Bethoven was so deaf he wrote very loud music"
Post by: minty on May 10, 2006, 03:21:32 pm
Post by: lorri on May 11, 2006, 12:11:32 am
not quite the same, thing but i remember having to point out to my then infant school age daughter after seeing her homework book, that when a teacher writes "good work" you dont then write "thank you i liked yours to" in reply 
Post by: oldspice on May 11, 2006, 07:55:08 am
Post by: chocolate chick on May 11, 2006, 11:04:25 am
Bless her