Chocolate Forum

Chat => General => Topic started by: smurfboy on February 08, 2006, 02:05:45 pm

Title: Expressions
Post by: smurfboy on February 08, 2006, 02:05:45 pm

My mom sent me a text that nearly made me wet myself last night. Apparently my gran - who is 85 and likes to think of herself as quite refined - described my uncle as being 'as useless as tits on a bull'.


Anyone else got any favourite expressions?

Title: Expressions
Post by: chocolate chick on February 08, 2006, 02:28:45 pm
Love it
Title: Expressions
Post by: Cherry_Ripe on February 08, 2006, 02:29:17 pm

"Proper job"

Title: Expressions
Post by: smurfboy on February 08, 2006, 03:22:23 pm
I also asked someone at work today if she was 'cocking a deaf 'un' and she looked at me like I was mad.
Title: Expressions
Post by: chocolate chick on February 08, 2006, 03:23:55 pm
I know what that one means!

I said, ouch that smarts and David had no clue

Title: Expressions
Post by: oldspice on February 08, 2006, 04:48:47 pm
My husband often says that something unusual is "rarer than rocking horse sh*t"
Title: Expressions
Post by: smurfboy on February 08, 2006, 04:52:51 pm
There's a collector's shop in Walsall that has that as its website name!
Title: Expressions
Post by: StrollingMinstrel on February 08, 2006, 06:21:54 pm

My hubby always says our kids "have the brains fo a rocking horse"


I quite like "If intelligence was taxed you'd be due a sizable rebate" or "If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to part your hair"

Title: Expressions
Post by: goldencup on February 08, 2006, 06:53:25 pm
One of my mum's favourites is when somebody can't make a decision.  She says they don't know whether they want a sh*t or a haircut!  I've never heard this anywhere else.
Title: Expressions
Post by: smurfboy on February 08, 2006, 10:07:59 pm


That one's hilarious!


One of my gran's friends was talking about a slutty woman once and commented that she'd 'give her arse away and sh*t through her ribs'!

Title: Expressions
Post by: goldencup on February 08, 2006, 10:17:30 pm
Title: Expressions
Post by: kermie on February 08, 2006, 10:30:53 pm
If they had sh*t for brains they would be dangerous
Title: Expressions
Post by: smurfboy on February 09, 2006, 12:46:24 am
What about 'sh*t or get off the pot'?
Title: Expressions
Post by: loulou on February 10, 2006, 01:08:50 am
keen as mustard?
Title: Expressions
Post by: oldspice on February 10, 2006, 06:57:01 am
Daft as a brush.
Title: Expressions
Post by: loulou on February 10, 2006, 07:21:45 pm
shake a leg
Title: Expressions
Post by: oldspice on February 10, 2006, 07:23:45 pm
One sandwich short of a picnic
Title: Expressions
Post by: loulou on February 10, 2006, 07:31:22 pm
Not the fizziest drink in the fridge
Title: Expressions
Post by: loulou on February 10, 2006, 07:31:47 pm
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Title: Expressions
Post by: smurfboy on February 10, 2006, 08:22:50 pm

Not the full shilling.

Title: Expressions
Post by: goldencup on February 10, 2006, 08:51:22 pm
The lift doesn't go all the way to the top
Title: Expressions
Post by: loulou on February 10, 2006, 09:34:38 pm
The lights on but no ones home.
Title: Expressions
Post by: oldspice on February 11, 2006, 11:21:42 am
The wheel is still turning but the hampter's dead
Title: Expressions
Post by: loulou on February 12, 2006, 03:59:10 pm
Not the brightest button in the tin
Title: Expressions
Post by: babygirl on February 12, 2006, 04:40:08 pm

Not the full ticket

Title: Expressions
Post by: oldspice on February 12, 2006, 04:41:39 pm

A few stops short of Upton Park


 


(Barking)

Title: Expressions
Post by: StrollingMinstrel on February 12, 2006, 09:00:14 pm
Mad as a biscuit
Title: Expressions
Post by: loulou on February 12, 2006, 09:48:49 pm
mad as a hatter
Title: Expressions
Post by: goldencup on February 13, 2006, 11:02:00 am

Wild as a turnip


Spiteful as a hedge


(These are little known Dorset expressions!)

Title: Expressions
Post by: loulou on February 13, 2006, 10:45:56 pm
happy as a sandboy
Title: Expressions
Post by: smurfboy on February 13, 2006, 10:46:56 pm

Camp as tits.

Title: Expressions
Post by: loulou on February 13, 2006, 10:48:59 pm
bent as a ten bob bit
Title: Expressions
Post by: smurfboy on February 13, 2006, 10:53:42 pm
gay as a yellow duster.
Title: Expressions
Post by: loulou on February 13, 2006, 11:00:22 pm
as rough as a badgers arse
Title: Expressions
Post by: smurfboy on February 13, 2006, 11:03:46 pm
A face like a plate of corned beef.
Title: Expressions
Post by: goldencup on February 14, 2006, 10:33:08 am
More camp than a Brownie holiday
Title: Expressions
Post by: smurfboy on February 14, 2006, 10:36:15 pm

Debbie just used a brilliant one on Shameless: 'Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining!'

Title: Expressions
Post by: loulou on February 14, 2006, 10:36:51 pm
I seen that
Title: Expressions
Post by: chocolate chick on February 15, 2006, 08:54:14 am

Quote from: smurfboy

Debbie just used a brilliant one on Shameless: 'Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining!'



I was gonna post that one this morning
Title: Expressions
Post by: smurfboy on February 15, 2006, 11:41:30 am
Complete forgot one of my nan's favourite ones, which I absolutely love: 'She wants hitting with a red hot stocking full of sh*t!'
Title: Expressions
Post by: babygirl on February 16, 2006, 09:24:25 pm

Happier than a pig in sh*t


 

Title: Expressions
Post by: babygirl on February 16, 2006, 09:25:11 pm
Go p*ss up ure kilt and play with the steam......
Title: Expressions
Post by: babygirl on February 16, 2006, 09:26:08 pm
sh*t in your hat and punch it........
Title: Expressions
Post by: oldspice on February 17, 2006, 09:24:13 am
Title: Expressions
Post by: wjp666 on February 18, 2006, 12:36:34 am

this is offensive, so apologies, but when i first heard the term:


"...useless as a bunch of retards trying to f*** a doorknob..."


 - oh, it did tickle me. and yes, im going to hell. sorry.

Title: Expressions
Post by: oldspice on February 18, 2006, 08:28:29 am

Happy as Larry

Title: Expressions
Post by: smurfboy on February 18, 2006, 04:30:41 pm

Who is Larry and why is he so happy? And what is so fantastic about Riley's life?


A great one courtesy of Lizzie Birdsworth of Cell Block H - an exclamation of shock... 'Well - bugger me gently!'

Title: Expressions
Post by: goldencup on February 18, 2006, 04:33:16 pm

 As a change from things "going down like a lead balloon" I rather like "it went down like a horsesh*t sandwich."


 

Title: Expressions
Post by: oldspice on February 18, 2006, 04:34:56 pm
It was as popular as a bacon sandwhich at a Barmitza
Title: Expressions
Post by: Cherry_Ripe on February 24, 2006, 09:18:03 am

The principal came up with one in his speech yesterday:


"neither use nor ornament"


Apparently it's a Yorkshire saying.

Title: Expressions
Post by: goldencup on February 24, 2006, 02:06:45 pm
Very William Morris!
Title: Expressions
Post by: loulou on February 25, 2006, 09:52:48 am
My mams fave expression is 'happy as a sandboy'.
Title: Expressions
Post by: oldspice on February 25, 2006, 11:45:11 am
That's popular in London. If you're very dirty, my family say as black as Newgate's knocker. I think this came from the notion that Newgate Prison, very imfamous, had a big, black, brass knocker. Everyone was scared stiff of the place.
Title: Expressions
Post by: loulou on February 25, 2006, 01:36:56 pm
My mam is from Newhaven so perhaps that's where she gets her sayings from.